Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
