he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
