You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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