Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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