and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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