I want to walk on stilts...naked
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We got so high we made milksteak
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
