I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
