He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
