I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
