whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
