I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
