There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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