Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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