Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
