Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
