Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
