checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize