dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
