God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Im part way to drunk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize