i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
