I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
