Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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