Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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