Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
