I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize