I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
