A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
