I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
