can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
