Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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