you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
