THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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