I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize