Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
