Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
