Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Enjoy the penises
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
