You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
