i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
