best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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