It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
