I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
