I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
