It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
