you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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