You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
