How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my phone needs a breathalizer
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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