He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
