I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize