Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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