so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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