question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize