i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
