On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
