The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
