She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
