how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
