Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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