Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you didnt know i had herpes?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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