Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
