Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize