# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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