There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
