Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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