You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
